It's a Wednesday night, and Monday's presentation is still replaying itself in my head.
Sigh. I feel I under-performed and let my group down. Hence the big bag of potato chips. Comfort food, you know.
I mean, I guess in preparing for the presentation, I probably focussed too much on things like cutting down information into bite-sized pieces, both for my own, as well as for my group members' sections. Plus, I did not want to repeat mistakes of limited eye-contact and having a stiff, unnatural tone. This I felt had to be overcome through multiple practices/rehearsals, to gain confidence and polish up the whole thing. As a group, we worked really hard to prepare for the presentation. I actually feel very apologetic for pushing you guys so hard, for being 'fierce' with regard to quality and for nitpicking on everything from content to structure and delivery...only to let you guys down during the actual presentation by being too brief (and possibly too 'fierce') with the Benefits+Conclusion section.
I must have missed the forest for the trees. Feedback that my section had ended abruptly, that I had come across as being overly aggressive, that the audience had expected so much more...but had been disappointed, keeps replaying over in my head. Plus, I am really kicking myself for not ensuring our presentation slides were STANDARDIZED. Argh.
On the other hand, I am really glad certain things went well. And I've learnt a lot about what works in giving presentations, and what doesn't. Additionally, I've witnessed great positive changes in my teammates' presentation skills/styles. And I'm really grateful to be in a group of wonderful people who are supportive and hardworking. I have learnt a lot from you, Nanhai, Elgin and Shivam. And I really want to thank each and every one of you for your various contributions to our group. Plus, your excellent attitudes and diligence.
I will write up a full, detailed analysis of the whole presentation soon. Once I get my thoughts better sorted out, and my heart's less heavy. Plus, I've run out of chips.
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteFirstly I'd like to say that I've always enjoyed reading through your posts even if I haven't really commented on them each time. My sincerest apologies for that. Remember how Brad mentioned about some blog posts which despite being long are still always a pleasure to read - well mayspace is one that delivers in this aspect and I'm a huge fan :)))
Regarding the presentation, you're really being too hard on yourself. I honestly felt that some of the critisicms that came your way were harsh and at times uncalled for. Mainly because I did not feel that your delivery was lagging as compared to your peer teaching. There was only 1 sore point for me in that it felt like your speech was too short and you were trying to lengthen it by speaking slowly. Sometimes unnaturally slowly. That was about as far as negatives go.
You sounded confident as always, fluent, succinct and had very good articulation. What's unique about you though is the tone of your voice which is one that's very pleasant and goes easy on the ears. You also managed to maintain good voice projection throughout and as for the weird gestures that some others took note of, well I just didn't spot them and I thought you did fine. So cheer up and reflect on the many positives instead. No chips? Try ice cream or chocolate. Always works :P
Dear May,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Vinod; you are being too hard on yourself. Your presentation -- both individually and as a group -- had so many strengths (as I mentioned in my evaluation), far outweighing the weaknesses. Some members of the audience might have been unnecessarily critical, but when it was mentioned that your standard is so high that this presentation was a bit of a let down, I saw that as a huge compliment.
And you learned so much in the process.
Please don't overdose on chips.
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteFor the third time, yes, you are indeed too harsh on yourself! For me, like Vinod, the only negative part of your presentation was just your abrupt conclusion. Other than that, clarity, confidence and persuasiveness were all there. Special mention to your excellent eye contact, which I felt was a great improvement compared to the peer teaching. From your reflection, I could also tell that you were the main motivator who was pushing your group throughout the entire project. And I especially admire people like that, as it is a job though unnoticed but is essential for every team. You have done well, my dear. (: And I would also want to thank you for your heart-warming comments, both for peer-teaching and for my OP. You are definitely someone that I look up to and like what Brad said, people having high expectations on you is a great compliment. So take things positively, yes? (:
Cheers! ^^
Hey May,
ReplyDeleteYup, I agree with Vinod and Brad, don’t be too harsh on yourself. Treat this as a learning experience and try to improve on the things next time. That’s the true meaning of doing a reflection and let them go all the unpleasant memories.
Our group has improved tremendously from rehearsal to the actual presentation and this was largely contributed by your insightful feedback given during the rehearsal. Without you, we won’t be able to recognize all the problems existing in our content, slides, delivery etc. Your role in the group is vital and indispensable!
Being decisive and encouraging, you have been an excellent leader leading our group all along the way. I am most thankful for your hard work in compiling our research proposal, which required a lot of efforts. Our proposal won’t look so solid without your final refinement.
It has been a great experience working with you in the research group and all the best to your FYP and preparation for the FINALS!
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do feel that at times, your eye contact was a little bit "fierce" or "aggressive", I believe your overall presentation was a good job!
I believe people who give criticisms are those who cares to help others learn. If they do not care at all, they would not bother to phrase a sentence and speak up to point it out to you.So, see it a positive learning experience. Don't be upset.
As the senior student in your team, you have taken up the role to lead the team. That was a great contribution not to be missed! Having said that, I believe you are doing a little bit too much as a team player. This means that you might want to take care of everything and do everything fantastically. Well, that could be too demanding for you. Don't push yourself too hard. Relax and everything will be fine, one day.:)
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteBREATHE IN BREATHE OUT. I hope you are feeling better already?
As what the others mentioned, you did improved a lot! I could still remember you rolling your eyes around while presenting for peer teaching. But, you showed so much more eye-contact during OP. In fact, you seemed very well prepared and I could see your confidence blooming.
Xixi also brought up a good point. Take criticisms with a pinch of salt. Afterall, they are important if improvements were to be made. SMILES!
Cheers,
Alvin
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself. Your presentation is always good. You have the confidence, engaging tone, good gesture, good pauses and articulation as well as well-organized.
I believe you get more criticism than strength because we all know that you are a very good presenters; hence, most of the good points will be quite redundant to say. There's a great expectation from that. If it was the first time I saw you present, I would be impressed. Moreover, I think it was a good choice to choose you as a concluding speaker since you have the ability to do so. So, no fret, it was an enjoyable performance from you.
I am really glad you learned a lot from others too. We all still need to constantly learn from our past. I have gained something from you too. It's nice being in the same class as you.
Cheers,
Billet
Hi May,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I think you should abolish those negative thoughts of yours that you did not perform well during the last presentation.
In my opinion, you did well considering the fact that you went slow and was effective in putting your ideas across. Your presentation was well articulated, equipped with varied tone, excellent gestures.
Through you, I learnt that slowing down allowed one to think through the points that one was supposed to deliver and thus avoided a scripted presentation. This comes in handy for future presentations and this is a very good take home point! :D
You are one of the few whom I really respected in class for being highly expressive be it in blog posts and during presentation. Haha.. so cheer up.. :D
As the title of my blog goes.. Every dark cloud has a sliver lining.. It is through setbacks that one grows to be a better person.. I believe you will be enjoying yr fruits of labour soon.. :D
Cheers,
Sylvester
Hello everyone!
ReplyDeleteThank you for all your comments!! :D You guys are commenting with such quick succession that I CAN'T KEEP UP here! hahaha. Oh dear.
Thanks a million, guys! I've actually gotten out from under that gloomy cloud of self-doubt, and re-reading my post...it seems a little surreal that I was so affected back then. Hmm.
Ok, let me start replying individual posts RIGHT NOW.
Hi Vinod!
ReplyDeleteYou know I am a huge fan of your blog, though I am VERY GUILTY of not leaving comments often enough as well. (Did I manage to leave a comment on your inter-cultural-ants’-glove-ritual post? I’ve got so many “Hi Vinod” half-written posts on my desktop..it’s embarrassing) I know for a fact that I haven’t done your peer-teaching feedback and your OP feedback yet. Argh!
Thank you very much for your kind, encouraging words. Though I think my psyche was over-reacting to the outcome of the OP, back while I was writing my gloomy post. So really, I should have been shaken hard and told to ‘snap out of it, man!’ Still, your words have meant more than you probably know. And I sincerely thank you.
With regard to speaking slowly during the presentation that day, yes, I was doing it intentionally. And the reason is simply because I hadn’t memorised a script, I had to give myself time to think of what to say next. Haha! Sounds a little silly, doesn’t it? But quite honestly, speaking slowly served another purpose; it calmed me down somewhat...so I didn’t get jittery and lose my train of thought. It’s actually one of the things I’ve picked up in the course of this module. Planting one’s feet firmly in the ground actually ‘forces’ one to slow one’s speech somewhat, which helps you to THINK as you go along, and this results in a speech/presentation that seems more personal to your audience...it’s like you’re really talking to THEM rather than rattling off a memorised script as quickly as possible –to avoid forgetting one’s points. Well, this is the lesson I’ve learnt since my Peer Teaching presentation (when I was talking too quickly out of nervousness)...guess it wouldn’t really apply to you, as you’ve been one cool, confident presenter right from the start! (:
Hi Brad!
ReplyDeleteYup, I read your evaluation after I had written that gloomy post. (: Things looked much better than I had thought! (Or maybe you were being terrifically merciful)
As a few others have mentioned in their comments here, criticisms come with the intentions of helping one improve. After all, it’s true that their words and feedback only mean they care. (: I guess I over-looked the positive points and was dwelling on the disappointments of that presentation while I wrote that post.
And yes, I have indeed learned so much from this experience, and from this whole module. It still hasn’t fully sunk in that it’s all coming to an end. Hmm. Maybe I’ll feel the full gravity of it when writing the final blog post.
P.S. The total damage was 2 bags of chips :P
Hey May,
ReplyDeleteI know it have been repeated many times but here goes. Don't be too hard of yourself.
Your presentation was really a great one and like I mentioned before, your group sounded really professional and that is commendable.I guess why the audience was so critical about your presentation was that they had high expectation of you. It is just different expectations of different people and you just happen to fall short.
Despite that, your presentation was still a great one and all the efforts that you all have put in could be seen.
Cheer up :) Eat something healthier next time like fruits !
Hi ALICIA! (:
ReplyDeleteYou are such a ray of sunshine, you know that? (: Thank you so much for your wonderfully encouraging words!
You’ve really given me too much credit, dear! My group didn’t really need much ‘motivation’. Nanhai, Elgin and Shivam are three really driven and diligent musketeers (: Haha! I was more like the hard-hitting, perfection-seeking critic during our rehearsals. Think the mean slug-like secretary in the Disney movie, Monster’s Inc., the one with triple chins, granny glasses and a terrible laugh... yup, that would pretty much sum up my role.
No worries, I’ve always taken the feedback positively (: Just that I was disappointed with myself for not meeting my own standards, you know. Still, the greater lesson is in what we learn from our mistakes, and the mistakes themselves don’t mean a thing once they become part of one’s past.
Thanks again for your beautiful words, they truly meant a lot to me (:
Hi Nanhai!
ReplyDeleteI must admit, your comment left me speechless for quite a while. I just sat and stared at it, reading it over and over again. Don’t worry, it’s the happy kind of shock.
Nanhai, you have HONESTLY given me too much credit. I am truly very thankful to have had you in our research group, you know. You were the one keeping track of our deadlines, ensuring that we submitted work promptly. You are also one amazing minute-taker. I have never worked with anyone who writes up minutes as efficiently as you do! (: I also picked up so many tips on presentation-delivery from watching you. You have taught me more than you probably realize.
What I did during our rehearsals and with our research proposal was...well, what I was supposed to do, right? Haha! Seriously, you deserve as much credit as I do. Maybe more. Your work-ethic, optimism, diligence, and solid, never-say-die character make you one truly amazing person.
It would be a lie to say I haven’t been deeply moved by your post. Please don’t get the wrong idea here, but I really want to hug you right now! Thanks a million, Nanhai.
Hi Xi Xi!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouragement! Don’t worry I wasn’t upset about the criticism I received following my oral presentation; I was simply disappointed with myself. Yup, I fully agree with you on the point that only those who care would bother giving me constructive feedback with regard to my weaknesses.
It’s true too how you’ve identified perfectionism as being bad for a person sometimes. But you've given me too much credit too. I wasn’t exactly single-handedly making everything work. I’ve been very privileged to have had good teammates in this research project, and what we achieved was very much a group effort. (:
Thanks again for dropping by to post a note of optimism here! (:
Hi Alvin!
ReplyDeleteFirstly, THANK YOU! (: No worries, I’m not going to be needing ‘qi gong’ anytime soon!
And really? I rolled my eyes during Peer Teaching?? Oh good grief. Thank goodness that wasn’t video-ed! I would have cringed watching myself. Argh. All the subconscious things I don’t realize I’m doing...thankfully, you’re pointing them out to me now, before I go embarrass myself in another setting!
Yup, I fully agree that criticism is important in seeking improvement! Haha, don’t worry, it wasn’t the criticism I received that had me under the weather, rather it was more anger-at-self for putting up such a dismal performance, which was plaguing me as I wrote the original post. It’s all good now, I’ve seen the light :P
Thanks again for the encouragement! (:
Hi Billet!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words and numerous compliments! (: (: (: You really do know how to see the silver lining round every dark cloud, and the glass is always half-full rather than half-empty to you.
Yes, I have indeed learnt a lot from this module. Not just from the material taught by Brad, but from observing others, feedback on my own performances, peer-reviews and even the bi-weekly blog posts. It’s such a pity the module has to end, isn’t it? But I’m really glad to have gained a friend in you, through it!
Thanks for spreading your contagious optimism. (: Your words have been most encouraging!
Hi Sylvester!
ReplyDeleteOk! All negative thoughts have been completely abolished! :D
Thank you very much for your cheery words of encouragement. You are always so positive and effusive with praise, I really am having a tough time trying to keep myself grounded here. Haha!
Good to know the one thing that made a significant impression on me with regard to giving oral presentations has stuck with you too! (: Having one’s feet rooted in the ground and slowing one’s speech down really does do wonders for improving clarity of thought and taking away the jitters, allowing the overall presentation to be delivered more naturally. I am very glad to have learnt that here.
I was just talking about dark clouds and silver linings in my response to Billet’s post! Haha, it’s almost as if you’ve got telepathy. But then again, your post was written quite a few days back and I’m the one who’s lagging in terms of replying. Can’t agree more with your point on how it is through learning from setbacks that one grows to be a better person! (: Thanks once again, Sylvester!
Hi Xing Quan!
ReplyDeleteDon’t worry, chips aren’t exactly a component of my daily diet. (: I was simply ...well, ’drowning my sorrows’ in their extreme saltiness back there. Rather foolish, I know. Fruits on the other hand, are always present in my fridge.
Thank you for your kind words and analysis of the feedback. True that I fell short of the expectations of others, I fell short of my own expectations as well. The latter is what got me under the weather. But alright, there were good take-away points from the whole experience and what’s important is the lessons learnt, not so much the events of the past.
Thanks for dropping by to leave a message. Your words were much appreciated! (:
Dear May,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the cathartic effect of junk food! :) Though I think I may be worse, indulging myself with chocolates. Think the high calorific content and it purges away most of the emotions, for health sake. :P
Been thinking of commenting here, but having seen you busy typing replies to the rest, you don't really have to reply to this.
At risk of sounding like fan mail, I just wanted to tell you that you've been a really great role model, in leading discussions with that remarkable ability to vocalize thoughts and advice so well. Hence, having higher expectations of you was somewhat unconscious for the class. One thing that struck me especially was your keen learning attitude to find out where you had gone wrong from Billet immediately after class was dismissed. In that, you had the courage to open yourself to self-disappointment.
Personally, I was somewhat faced with a similar scenario too, which is what compels me to comment. But I guess the learning point would then be how to discern opinions of others, how much to allow it to influence the next step towards improvement. I'm still thinking about it and haven't gained much wisdom yet. But I'm sure these incidents will eventually lead me to understand more about myself, and refine personal values in life.
This brings me to another point..amazing support from the class, despite just knowing one another just weeks ago. It was certainly a pleasure getting to know you too, so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that we'll all keep in touch! :)
Hi Yanling!
ReplyDeleteThank you so, so much for your very sweet comment! (:
I just visited your blog to drop you a message, and couldn’t help addressing your comment on this blog-post there. In the event of the odd chance that you’d read this first before seeing that comment, I’ll reiterate some of my sentiments here. (I do hope I haven’t been utterly confusing in the preceding sentences! >.<)
Firstly, I was (and still am) very, very touched by your complete altruism and considerate nature. In observing that I was somewhat scrambling to reply all the comments on my blog-post, you actually gave me ‘permission’ to omit a reply to yours! That truly warmed my heart. And I’d just like to let you know that I’m very grateful for the gesture. That said, I’d also like to tell you that your comment is as worthy of a reply as all the others’. And you should never feel that it is any less! (:
After reading your personal reflections on your OP and your comment here, I’ve come to realize that we are indeed very similar, in terms of mindset and outlook at least. We are the harshest critics of ourselves, and we aren’t really affected by external competition. It is the internal disappointments of not reaching our own goals and aspirations that truly gets to us, chewing us up from within. It isn’t quite pleasant, really, because no matter what the outcome is...there will always be ‘room for improvement’ in our mind’s eye.
Reading and responding to the comments left on my blog post, I’ve come to appreciate more and more the value of others’ feedback. I mean, feedback has always been a fantastic tool for identifying one’s weaknesses that one may be oblivious to. Thing is, it can be a means of seeing the plus points of a ‘bad’ performance too. Knowing that I have a tendency blind myself to the ‘good’ when all I’m thinking about is how disappointing my performance was, listening to the complete feedback from others truly does help put things back into perspective. Sure some things need work, but there were positive improvements in other areas, so all that’s needed now is a way of striking a good balance.
Addressing your point on the peer-support within our little community of sixteen here in ES2007 Group 2, yes I couldn’t agree more that we truly have one fine bunch of classmates! (: The way they rally round and encourage/impart words of wisdom/give constructive criticism where necessary, is simply phenomenal. I have never ever encountered any other class like this, all my three-and-a-half years in NUS! (And that’s a good seven semesters worth of classes). There’s this sense of sadness that the course has come to an end, and it’s almost surreal that we won’t be having those interactive sessions every Monday and Thursday anymore. Though I guess one can live in denial a little more through the blogs for now. We’re still one solidly-bonded community up here in cyberspace. (:
Hi Yuen May,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the late comment. One of my friends thought me how to counter nervousness. I would wear shoes everytime I needed to make presentations or meet companies. This was so that I could twitch (I'm not sure if this is the correct word) my toes to hide my nervousness.
About being overcritical, I didn't agree about the being aggressive part, but I did notice that you slowed down your speech. Your presentation was well articulated, this is one trait that I really admire. Keep it up!
$W?h0w$
Hi Wyhow!
ReplyDeleteNo worries, there's no such thing as a 'late comment' yea? (: Thanks for stopping by to share the presentation tip!
I guess 'aggressiveness' is subjective? Haha, will simply have to be sensitive towards my audience in future, to avoid faux pas.